Your Top-Notch Persona

  When I was in graduate school, I remember one day conversing with this girl about the concept of power. She was trying to say that as graduate students working in the writing center we were at the bottom of the proverbial totem pole and therefore had no power. I responded by saying “No, you’re wrong…”-- Carnegie would very much disapprove of my opening– I continued by telling her we have immense power. She just ended up laughing, but what she didn’t seem to get was that we were talking about two, very different forms of power. The power she was referring to was the superficial, external kind, which it was true, we had virtually none. Yet the power I was referring to was the Divine, inner kind, which we always have a vast, limitless amount of I feel we often forget about this second kind of power. It’s much easier to identify external power because we can see it. But internal power can be hard to find; indeed some people never find it. But its value vastly outweighs the external v...

  Look Good, Feel Great!: Looking good is a huge part of style, and it’s the most obvious part, in my opinion. Most of the time, people start dressing-up because they want to convey a message to those around them. But there’s a second, much more important aspect of style and personal image. That being how style makes a person FEEL When you look good, you feel great! And even more than that, your feelings will radiate out onto other people who will be drawn to you. Style to me has always been about feeling my best; in fact, style was a significant part of me overcoming my body image issues. I was never really one to seek compliments or enjoy flattery– even though that stuff obviously comes with looking your best– rather what mattered to me was how style literally changed the way I felt. I remember putting on my first suit and feeling the most empowered I have ever felt. Not only that, but I noticed pretty quickly how everywhere I went I was treated differently.  People started ...

  Magic actually had nothing to do with overcoming my issues. There were rather two things that did, both of which have a magic-like effect: The first was the power of a positive mindset and the second was faith. I know it probably sounds cheesy but here’s what happened– One morning I woke-up, got out of bed, and decided that I was done feeling the way I’d been feeling for nearly a decade. (See part one for an extensive description of my issues.) I didn’t realize it at the time, but on that morning I decided to take control of my life by creating a positive mindset. In the moment, I literally was just fed up with feeling the way I had been. In addition to making that BOLD decision, I had also been really into spiritual practices like meditation. On the night prior to waking-up with a new mindset, I had decided to try this Buddhist/Zen candle visualization ritual ( I really don’t know what else to call it.)  I went into my basement late at night and lit a pink candle (pink was ...

I hear this from people all the time when they find out what kind of person I used to be. “I can’t believe it.” “I’d never be able to tell.” To be completely candid, sometimes I don't even believe that I used to be a completely different person. It feels like a bad dream of sorts.  Back in high school, I was one of the most timid, confused, socially awkward people I’ve ever known. Indeed, I’ve NEVER met anyone like how I was back then. Worst of all, my mind was plagued by negative thoughts, to the point where I was sabotaging any potential good things in my life by thinking I didn’t deserve them.  I lacked any sort of confidence. If that wasn’t bad enough, other kids sensed my weakness and would constantly give me a hard time because of it. I really don’t blame them; I was an easy mark. It constantly felt like I was alone with my negative thoughts that were utterly destroying my life. And in addition to all that, I had body image issues which further contributed to my hapless ...

  I used to really emphasize the fact that I was a “lone wolf.” I didn’t need anyone. I had the skills, the attitudes, and the willpower to succeed on my own. The hell with everyone else… Oh what a complete and utter fool I was haha.  Society seems to perpetuate this image of paving your way through life solo. Being a lone wolf so to speak. It’s sexy.  It draws people in. It yields massive respect. And while there is something to say about people being drawn to authenticity– a post for another time perhaps– being a lone wolf isn’t sexy. It’s actually a fast-track to failure believe it or not.  While society may paint the lone wolf as this appealing way of Being, in reality such types tend to appear pompous and unappealing.  Indeed, it took me a while to learn this, but the one sure-fire way to succeed is to have the courage to work with others and put your ego aside. ASK AND YOU WILL RECEIVE! Got a question? Ask and you’ll get an answer Want someone to do someth...

We all know the significance of reading personal development books. Stuff like Think and Grow Rich and 48 Laws of Power. But can reading fiction books be helpful too? The answer to that question requires a closer look because it is not a simple “yes” or “no” answer. In my opinion, it really depends on the fiction--that is, genre-- and how much you’re willing to read. Also, most lessons found in fiction are interwoven into the story rather than being simply presented to you like they are in personal development books. For example, one of my favorite fictional quotes is from the book Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas: “Admire yourself and others will admire you too” is one of Monsieur Villifort’s axioms in life. It’s a powerful message, but one that isn’t presented in the book till many pages in. Robert Greene, however, mentions this same idea in the 34th Law of Power in only a few pages. You see my point? Fiction can have really good lessons and personal development advice--espec...

Luck is a term that seems to be understood differently by everyone. The dictionary definition of luck is “success or failure through chance rather than one’s own actions.” Luck or chance certainly does almost always play a role in success or failure, but is it fair to say that luck is outside of our control?  I don’t believe so. I think there’s two kinds of luck: Random luck, which the above definition could be applied to, And Opportunistic luck, which is essentially created luck. Being prepared in life is paramount to your overall success, And part of being prepared is being ready to seize opportunities as they come. Carpe Diem as some would say. While random luck does happen at times, like when someone wins the lottery, the vast majority of luck that occurs in your life is the opportunistic kind. Now, the thing about opportunistic luck is that if you’re not prepared to receive it, it’ll pass you by. A great opportunity may come your way, but due to being ill prepared for it, you ...

: There’s a common belief that success depends on external stuff like a nice house, a Lambo, and a ton of money. Let’s call this “Societal Success.” Because this is the image that has been conveyed in movies, shows, and literature of what success looks like. Well I have news for you… This image of success is a LIE! Real success always starts from within. The title of Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich” perfectly conveys this. It’s not “Get Rich and Think,” Although Societal Success seems almost to suggest that that’s how it’s done. Real success requires many things, as I mentioned in my previous post on the TRUTH about success. And the vast majority of them are internal ways of Being; good habits, clear goals, ambition, et cetera.  Sure, external things can help too: Having family money to get started. Having a mentor. Having a vast network. But these things are simply added icing to the cake. Real success is a mindset It’s not just a job or getting money. It’s a way of life. Rea...

Intention is defined as “a thing intended; an aim or plan.” We all know having a plan is extremely important for attaining success, and having a plan requires you to act with intention. Being spontaneous– that being the opposite of acting with intention– is romanticized by society. We’re shown in movies how sometimes when people just randomly do stuff they find love, happiness, and success.  This is hardly ever the case though.  Having an aim and acting with intention is how those things are actually attained. For example, I met my wife in graduate school. It wasn’t random that we met. We were both in school to get a degree; that was our aim. Many people seem to think that they’re living in a movie. Good stuff will just happen to them. Then they get disappointed when it doesn’t.  Newsflash though: reality isn’t romantic.  It requires, WORK, SACRIFICE, and INTENTION. When you act with intention, that is, knowing why you’re doing what you’re doing, the world becomes mo...

This sounds like blasphemy! Why would a guy who talks almost daily about how important style is suddenly say style doesn’t matter? Hear me out, hear me out: Outer style doesn’t matter IF you’re not a good person. What I mean is that what you decide to wear doesn’t have as significant of an impact if you have a socially unacceptable trait (that is, overt anger, lack of impulse control, etc.) Outer style– and fragrance for that matter– will always help make a killer first impression, however, that great first impression will be short-lived if you don’t have the Inner Style to match it. Having a socially pleasing personality is far more important than what clothes you decide to adorn yourself with. Being a morally “good” (socially acceptable) person is way more significant than whether or not you wear wool or polyester Being civil and well-mannered matters so much more than what fragrance you decide to wear. That’s just the reality of life. Outer style is a great way to bolster your confi...

One of the best and most efficient ways to learn is by paying attention to what others are doing.  This has many benefits, but probably the biggest is that by watching other people, you can learn from their mistakes. This has helped me avoid myriads of time-consuming endeavors and experiences. For instance, I saw how miserable and overworked the majority of teachers were while getting my degree.  Sure some seemed happier than others, but it still seemed like a significant amount of work for minimal compensation. So rather than experience it myself, I got the hint by seeing and learning from teachers.  My point is this: Rather than spend precious time, which indeed is the most precious asset you will ever have, doing something you see others struggling with or wishing they didn’t do, Take the hint and simply don’t do it This ability is a gift! It should be used to its fullest potential!! Unfortunately, it seems many seem to go through life with blinders on. They think they...

For a couple months after I finished my Masters program, I was diligently looking for a full-time job. I was told that was what came after school and I had no reason not to believe that’s what came next. Before graduating I was already thinking about entrepreneurship, however I hadn’t planned on diving into it.  My plan was to get a full-time job while trying to build my own brand on the side. Then something happened… THE COVID LOCKDOWNS. This brought my search to a screeching halt.  But it also brought the chance for me to deeply reflect on my life goals. A month after the lockdown began, I started the TNP blog, and the rest is history. While many were panicking and stockpiling toilet paper, I was learning, growing, and developing. Because the normal flow of things was briefly stopped by Covid, I was able to spend a lot of time alone, deeply meditating on what it was I wanted. And this changed the entire direction of my life.  Through darkness came light. Through isolati...

Tomorrow is New Year’s Eve! You know what that means, right? Time to become a completely different person by transforming your life. I hope you have your New Year’s Resolutions ready!! It’s almost go-time!!! ... Woah, woah, woah, hold-up a second! Why do so many people wait till the new year to try implementing changes in their life anyway? Why does the prospect of the new year hype people up so much though? Is genuine change only possible once a year? Of course not! Personally, I’ve never been one to get excited over the new year. And I certainly haven’t been one to make New Year's Resolutions. I set goals 365 days a year. I read 365 days a year.  I work towards my dreams 365 days a year. I don’t need the earth rotating around the sun an additional time to pump me up. And neither do YOU. Any time of the year is a great time to make that change you’ve been wanting to make. Sure, waiting till New Year’s might seem like a good time to launch into your goals–  After all, it makes...

Over the Holiday weekend, my wife and I went to visit my family. It was a good time as usual, But there was one thing I noticed that was rather alarming. What I noticed was that many people in my family seemed to want to talk about how much their job sucks. They weren’t even being negative. Just tired. Like they were fed-up with working a job that’s not incredibly stimulating. I feel this is all too common in today’s world. Finding a job typically ends-up turning into settling for whatever can be found, (That was definitely my personal experience with the process, and I have indeed settled for a number of jobs in my past.) And entrepreneurship still isn’t widely taught or encouraged. It’s as if we as a society are creating generations of unhappy people who are forced to just settle for what they can get. What people want isn’t normally a concern. Perhaps they even accept the fact– they believe it to be anyway– that what they want doesn’t matter. And the consequence of this is people ar...

Life is filled with challenges to overcome and potentially problematic people and situations. It can feel damn near impossible to focus knowing there’s issues loaming over your head. This is doubly so if you have anxiety. I completely get it, trust me.  But it is incredibly unwise to fixate on these issues.  Now, you might be thinking, “Ryan, if I don’t deal with my problems they will never get resolved,” And yes, of course, that’s true. I’m not saying avoid your problems or run away from them. Certainly not. I’m saying don’t fixate on them. And the reason is simple: When you fixate on your issues, they become more emotionally overwhelming. The most straightforward example is if you have debt. Let’s say you owe $200,000, which is an overwhelming thought just to ponder. But let’s say you are consumed by anxiety knowing you owe that money. How am I going to pay for it? What am I going to do? Where do I even start? God, help me!! While it’s understandable to feel this way in the ...

Life is “nasty, brutish, and short” to quote Thomas Hobbs. Why even bother with anything, right?  Finding happiness and meaning in life takes work and who wants to spend time on that. Am I right? It’s easier to just sit back and let life happen. No point in trying to strategically navigate your way through it.  Whatever happens, happens. So to help you merely exist because the alternative is too difficult, here is a list of ways to help you out: Consume as much news from the media and third-party sources, never fact check anything. If someone says something you disagree with, simply ignore them and assume they’re dangerous. Never plan for anything. Just go with the flow at all times. If something feels good, do it. No need to ever think about future ramifications. Let your emotions guide you. Act impulsively. Again, why think? Compare yourself to everyone.  Believe everything you see on social media. Don’t think about your personal values. Let others dictate how you shoul...

I always see people get these terms confused and think it’s worth clarifying. Because one is ideal and earned while the other is toxic and baseless. I need not tell you which is good and which is bad, rather, let’s instead look at each from an indifferent perspective. Confidence is something that is built slowly, over time. It is something that is typically gained through overcoming challenges or accomplishing goals. It adds a particular glow to your Being, one that is easily recognizable by others. One that draws people in. Confidence is something we all should strive for as I mention on this page almost daily. Ego, on the other hand, is like an unfounded, unearned confidence. It is something we all have and that requires constant monitoring to control.  Much like genuine confidence, it gives off a noticeable vibe to others, but instead of being something others are drawn to, it tends to repel them. Think of ego as arrogance. Ego tends to be a defense mechanism for a psychological...

It might be foolish of me to share this post. But when I started this brand I made a commitment to myself and my audience that I would always be transparent and genuine. A lot of online “coaches” and “gurus” sell people an idea. A better life. More money. A bigger audience . Such types might sound good and even seem like helpful people; I’m sure many really are and I’m not knocking anyone with this. But understand: They’re selling you the VAGUE IDEA, not the SOLUTION. They’re expecting you to use your imagination to help them make the sale. What would a better life look like? What if I had more money? What if my audience were bigger? Hmmmmm? Such tactics have been used for centuries to “con” people. But such tactics end here, today, on this page. It might not be easy to hear this, but it is necessary if you wish to create lasting success. If you’d prefer just to listen to “gurus” talk about vague concepts and motivate you to spend hundreds and thousands of dollars on courses filled wit...

We all know the intellectual benefit of reading every day. But did you know that reading just a few pages a day can help negate negative thoughts? Think about it: When do negative thoughts and anxiety tend to creep into your mind? I know personally with me it tends to happen when I’m in a state of rest; when nothing else is going on.  This is common and it makes sense. When your mind is actively focused on something, you don’t have time to dwell on such superfluities caused by anxiety. It’s only when your mind is in a state of relaxation that anxiety really has a chance to bother you. So how’s reading help? Well by reading and learning new things, you will begin to saturate your mind with new lines of inquiry. In other words, with potentially beneficial information.  After time– indeed, you must be in the habit of reading consistently– you will find yourself pondering what you’ve been reading in your free time. And as such, your previous negative thoughts will begin to fade aw...

The majority of my 20s I wasted a lot of time. Sure, I was in school, which was a lot of work, but I used that fact to justify just lounging around, gaming in my freetime. I could have been stockpiling money for when I graduated, but I lacked the mental foresight to do it. I could have started my entrepreneurial pursuits when I was still in school and didn’t have bills to pay, but again, I lacked the awareness to do it. I could have at least started working on my personal development, but did I? No. I hear a lot from people how they feel the same way– That they feel like they wasted their 20s too.  And it's a tough feeling to grapple with. I should have done more! I should have saved my money! I shouldn’t have relied so heavily on credit! These thoughts can be maddening. We’ve all been there at some point or another. Despite the chaotic nature of such thoughts, the solution to feeling like you wasted your 20s– or time in general– is simple: ACCEPT your past choices. Accept the fact...

Being nice might seem like something to strive toward.  Typically, we like nice people, right?  Well not exactly… Nice is defined as pleasant and agreeable, which on paper might sound like good things to be as well. And of course to a degree, they are. For example, if someone was always disagreeable they would likely be ostracized by their community. So yea, being nice to a degree can and will help make you more likable and even influential. However, there’s a difference between being nice and being known by others as nice or the infamous “nice guy”. You see, oftentimes when someone has a reputation for being nice what they actually are is highly agreeable which is not a respectable thing to be. We as a society respect people who have a plan in life and a strong sense of purpose; people, in other words, who don’t simply follow the crowd. These are the types that typically become very successful. It’s not that these types aren’t nice either. It’s just that they know there’s a t...

  When I started making content online, I wanted to convey a perfectly professional image. What ended up happening though was that I was super rigid and robotic in my earliest videos.  I actually had a friend comment on one telling me I needed to relax a little bit because I looked too tense on camera.  Fast forward a couple years and I understand what he meant completely, but at the time I was a bit confused. At this point though, I can tell that the issue was I was trying too hard to convey a particular image, rather than just being authentically me. I mentioned before that in the first year I only got 96 subscribers, and the reason I think that I got such a small number was because I was being WAY TOO SERIOUS. In trying to be something I hadn’t truly become yet, I was shooting myself in the foot so to speak. As Avril Lavigne might say, I was “[M]aking things so complicated”  (Look up the song to listen to while you finish this post lol) Being too serious at first ...

  Earlier this week, I found the attached meme in a group I’m in on Facebook. It’s actually a really fun one. You’ll probably be scratching your head for a few minutes trying to figure out what the heck that’s a picture of. Then, just like that, you’ll see it and won’t be able to unsee it.  I won’t talk about it in any more detail so that you can try to figure it out yourself. But there’s a priceless lesson to be found in it pertaining to one’s own mindset You see, we as humans are predisposed to think negatively. It’s actually much easier to think with a glass half empty mentality than it is to think positively. That’s why we all have at least some experience dwelling on the negatives in life and the fear-based “what ifs.” The tragedy is, however, that many people get stuck in that mindset. They literally can’t think positively. Why that might be is perhaps a topic for another time, But what such people don’t realize is that there isn’t much difference between being negative ...

It seems today being a “victim” is a common trend: Got bullied in highschool? Victim Had tough parents growing-up? Victim Got rejected by your crush? Victim Didn’t get a job you wanted? Victim  I could go on and on, but you get my point. Everyone’s a victim these days for one reason or another, and it’s a significant problem. Before we talk about why that is though, we need to talk about why being a victim is so common. Let me know what you think in the comments below.  My theory is that by being a victim, one doesn’t have to hold themselves accountable and therefore, doesn’t need to be responsible for anything. They’re the victim after all and deserve our charity. Also, holding yourself accountable is one of the final signs of genuine maturity, so by constantly identifying as a victim, one needs never to truly “grow-up.” So why’s this problematic?  By blaming the world for all your issues, you are essentially relinquishing all autonomy over your life. You are basically s...