The Problem With Being A Self-Proclaimed “Victim”

It seems today being a “victim” is a common trend:

Got bullied in highschool? Victim

Had tough parents growing-up? Victim

Got rejected by your crush? Victim

Didn’t get a job you wanted? Victim

I could go on and on, but you get my point.

Everyone’s a victim these days for one reason or another, and it’s a significant problem.

Before we talk about why that is though, we need to talk about why being a victim is so common.

Let me know what you think in the comments below.

My theory is that by being a victim, one doesn’t have to hold themselves accountable and therefore, doesn’t need to be responsible for anything.

They’re the victim after all and deserve our charity.

Also, holding yourself accountable is one of the final signs of genuine maturity, so by constantly identifying as a victim, one needs never to truly “grow-up.”

So why’s this problematic?

By blaming the world for all your issues, you are essentially relinquishing all autonomy over your life.

You are basically saying: “What happens to me is always out of my control,” and this then will constantly serve as an insurmountable roadblock in your way of thinking.

You’re the victim, so what power do you have to do anything in life?

Of course, there are times when people legitimately are victims: victims of assault, of a natural disaster, of a tragedy.

But the inspiring thing about those kinds of victims is that they usually fight back with incredible resilience and admirable determination.

Self-proclaimed victims, on the other hand, never fight back. They’re just permanently a victim of circumstance.

I might even say such people are just scared of responsibility and know, deep down, they’re not victims at all.

It’s ok to feel beatdown and temporarily defeated– c’est la vie after all– as long as you have resilience, but by constantly labeling yourself as a victim you are doing yourself a significant disservice.

And the longer you are connected with that label, the harder it will be to develop a sense of autonomy in your life.

-Ryan, Persona Coach

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