“I Can’t Believe It!” Part 1

I hear this from people all the time when they find out what kind of person I used to be.

“I can’t believe it.”

“I’d never be able to tell.”

To be completely candid, sometimes I don't even believe that I used to be a completely different person.

It feels like a bad dream of sorts.

Back in high school, I was one of the most timid, confused, socially awkward people I’ve ever known.

Indeed, I’ve NEVER met anyone like how I was back then.

Worst of all, my mind was plagued by negative thoughts, to the point where I was sabotaging any potential good things in my life by thinking I didn’t deserve them.

I lacked any sort of confidence.

If that wasn’t bad enough, other kids sensed my weakness and would constantly give me a hard time because of it.

I really don’t blame them; I was an easy mark.

It constantly felt like I was alone with my negative thoughts that were utterly destroying my life.

And in addition to all that, I had body image issues which further contributed to my hapless younger years.

I used to spend hours looking in the mirror– even at school– trying to figure out what was wrong with me.

The kids would think I was egotistical and full of myself. None of them understood, and how could they? I didn’t even understand.

As I’m writing this, I can’t help but laugh a little remembering who I was at one point in time.

Back then, I tried everything to fit in including going through several weird dress phases.

I even tried joining the football team, which lasted about a week before I realized getting physically knocked around wasn’t for me.

Things were absolutely horrible during the ages of 14-22.

So when people have told me “I can’t believe it” after hearing my story, my common response is “neither can I really.”

People then always want to know how I managed to overcome such a strenuous time in my life.

They ask almost expecting that there’s some easy answer;

That things just magically got better.

And you know what?

As funny and nonsensical as it might sound,

They did…

(Part 2 coming next Monday)

-Ryan, Persona Coach

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