You Don't Want To Be "Nice"

Being nice might seem like something to strive toward.

Typically, we like nice people, right?

Well not exactly…

Nice is defined as pleasant and agreeable, which on paper might sound like good things to be as well.

And of course to a degree, they are. For example, if someone was always disagreeable they would likely be ostracized by their community.

So yea, being nice to a degree can and will help make you more likable and even influential.

However, there’s a difference between being nice and being known by others as nice or the infamous “nice guy”.

You see, oftentimes when someone has a reputation for being nice what they actually are is highly agreeable which is not a respectable thing to be.

We as a society respect people who have a plan in life and a strong sense of purpose; people, in other words, who don’t simply follow the crowd.

These are the types that typically become very successful.

It’s not that these types aren’t nice either. It’s just that they know there’s a time to be agreeable and a time not to be.

“Nice” guys or people who are known for being nice, on the other hand, tend to be unaware of this fact, and instead, they are just permanently in agreeable mode.

This is typically a trait society is repulsed by, or at least it is one that is not worthy of respect.

When someone is too agreeable it can be awkward for others, especially if the highly agreeable person is romantically interested in someone.

(This is what would be called the modern “simp,” but that’s a story for another time).

Aside from the awkwardness caused by such people, the highly agreeable person also seems to lack a unique core identity.

Who are they?

It’s nearly impossible to tell since they’re always willing to do what others want.

It’s sad but such people often end up depressed and alone.

I know because I used to be like that.

So while being nice can certainly be a good thing, being known as the “nice guy” or for being nice is not.

It might seem like you’re influencing people and making friends by being highly agreeable, but what you’re actually doing is repelling people!

-Ryan, Persona Coach

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